Dingo the Dissident

THE BLOG OF DISQUIET : Qweir Notions, an uncommonplace-book from the Armpit of Diogenes, binge-thinker jottings since 2008 .

Wednesday 17 July 2024

In the sky drably.

Yesterday's luxuries
are today's necessities
hence inflation Yet
in much of Europe
(especially in rural areas)
people dress ever
more samely
more drably

especially
(as ever) the elderly
few of whom
rejoice in their old age

I have rarely felt better
I wear bright clothes
and criminally
go on cheap flights
to Morocco
where many people
including the poor and the old,
dress joyfully.


Tuesday 16 July 2024

For many years (perhaps still)

I liked to think
I would have liked
to have been raised by bears.

Of course I remember
the Northern Irish 'Hen-house Boy'
'hitting the headlines' in 1952.
I fantasised about him.

I wanted to be his brother.

(I don't know what's the matter
with you, said my mother
after every minor punishment
and censure I received at school.)

A long time later,
I read a poem about him
by a worshipped Northern Irish poet.
Its second line is 'A yolk of light'.

Oh no!  I shouted, hurling down the book
with its razorly-crafted lines about a boy
'sharp-faced as new moons'. Aaaaargh!

Predation!

A humdrum book about 'Wild' children that I read
yesterday praises this poem for its sensitivity.
Goodreads
(where you can read my outrageous outrage)
is full of praise for many others, too.

All I find in it is poetic
exquisitely-literary exploitation.


Globalism.

A hundred years ago, great pianists
were French, Polish, Russian, German
(often Jewish). Fifty years ago 
great British pianists appeared. Last night
I listened to a splendid live performance
of Debussy Images and Chopin Etudes
by the Kazakh pianist, Alim Beisembayev.

And how amazing that Nicolas Chopin,
a Frenchman from Lorraine,
happened to marry a Pole,
went with her to live in Żelazowa Wola,
and sired Poland's most famous son !


The Extinction Cabinet.


 











The Australian Museum.

Pig-footed Bandicoot


Monday 15 July 2024

Not one of the Seven Deadly Sins,

and yet one of the chief causes
of conflict and world war:

RESENTMENT.

(The Seven Deadly sins were originally Nine, then Eight...
but never included Resentment, which, in recent times has been thee main reason for perpetual war in Palestine-Israel and for the Second World War as reprisal for Germany's humiliation in 1919-21.)


I know very well

that having no shoulders, 
pectorals or biceps
is only slightly
better than having a hump.

"He was bullied almost every day."
And failed to murder Trump.


Insofar that I can judge,

'grief' is largely
regret.


Sunday 14 July 2024

Language exports.

England has exported
the exclamation Fuck! (and fucking)
to Belgium, Denmark, Holland,
Luxembourg - to name a few.

Because of its language wars
(Walloon v. Flemish) Belgium
has borrowed many English words
to use where emotions might be inflamed.

Through films and World War Two
the USA exported Okay to the whole world –
ironically an inverted verlan*
borrowing from Louisiana French
d'accor' (gacco goka gokay).
that follows the linguistic rules.
Note also the now rare form Okey-Dokey.

*Verlan is a modern back-slang (an inversion of l'envers, meaning  the other way round) which (like cant and local dialect) is commonly used world-wide in many languages for private communication.
A well-known example in English is yob meaning boy.


I used to think that I was at fault

and intolerant
when (as often)
I found people intrusive.

Now I know that Homo sapiens 

(unlike Bradypus, Cholœpus and Nycticebus
sloths and slow lorises – to name but few)

is an intrusive species
that favours millions
of intrusive people.

https://slothconservation.org/


Saturday 13 July 2024

Le Temps des Taons

The French do not appreciate puns
as English-speakers do
because the language is so homophonous.

Temps and Taons are pronounced identically.

The Time of the Horse-flies
is coming soon.

Finally, I finished my lengthy
brilliant novel. Queer Caliban,
and danced around the barbecue
as I watched it burn.


'To judge a book by its cover'

is not so foolish
when there is lots of writing
on the back. 


 

DIRT

(said the Duchess)
is what you want it to be.

You never see it in 'feature films'
where filth and squalor
and especially sordid people
are portrayed prettily.

 

Katauskas kartoon.


 

Friday 12 July 2024

'In days of old'

miners of lead, tin, silver, gold
and coal (many were slaves)
wore leather hats with brims
on which lit candles could safely sit
while they hewed rock
in narrow excavated caves
and passages by pick
and wedge and hammer, lit
just by smoky, wavering glims...
I think that instead of trying to write poetry
I should restrict myself to hymns.



Little-known facts.

Today is the 29th anniversary
of the Srebrenica genocide.

The Prime Minister of Portugal is Luis Montenegro.

The Prime Minister of Montenegro is Milojko Spajić.

The Atacama desert is carpeted with purple flowers due to rare rain.

70% of Indian sewage is untreated.

Below:
Grotesque competitors warm up backstage
before the Mr Afghanistan bodybuilding competition...



Thursday 11 July 2024

No canon for old memes.*

 "In the digital [world], trust is fundamentally impossible."

René Walter in a brilliant article on Cultural Memory.

“Social media reward extremes and obsessions"

*W. David Marx


Part of a letter from my Russian friend in exile.

"...I talk regularly with my father in Zaporizhia [Ukraine]  and he surprises me with his calm and dogged attitude in the middle of chaos. 

The last time we talked he told me that in his life he did everything as supposed to be done -
he built a house, planted an orchard and raised a son (my half-brother). 

His village was occupied [by the Russians] and the house was lost,
the orchard was abandoned, destroyed, and his son was killed. 

And inside the church that he helped to build, they made a morgue for dead Russian soldiers. But he's taking it quite philosophically :

'I had everything and at the end of life I have nothing'."


Anti-Labyrinth, no Minotaur.

“There is [a] destination

but no way to it;

what we call way

is hesitation.”  

Franz K.

Hardly believable.

"Rubbish disposal is one of those baffling areas
in which the USA in general, but New York in particular,
is wildly behind
 Europe."

Wheelie-bins are only now beginning to appear.



Wednesday 10 July 2024

The 'Great Religions'

of Redemption abolished true Remorse,
and hence, ultimately, Accountability.
So they trashed the world.

"If you are stuck between resentment and guilt, choose guilt."


Child Marriage*

is legal in 37 states of the USA.
There are no federal laws against it,
so minors can marry, with parental consent,
before they can vote, drink, or buy lottery tickets
in most of the country.
Some states have a minimum marriage age
ranging from 15 to 18. 

Four states   California, New Mexico, Oklahoma,
and Mississippi – do not specify any minimum age at all.


* One or both parties entering a union while under the age of 18

It is no surprise

that suicide (and attempted suicide)
are crimes in the nasty feudal and stinking rich
United Arab Dictatorships.

Irish woman charged by Dubai court
with ‘attempting suicide’.

Failed suicide is also an offence in many other countries
including Kenya, Bangladesh, Malawi - and
in France* within living memory.

But the more 'tolerant' (I would say ignorant, condescending)
attitude that suicide is the result of mental illness
is just as odious, and flies in the face of several
ancient and modern (non-Abrahamic) cultures.  

The cosmic view
is that there are several billion humans
on this earth, and even if half of us
bravely killed ourselves tomorrow
global heating and its consequences
will cascade inexorably on.


* So it is ironic that the Great French Hero, Napoleon,
was also a (failed) Failed Suicide.

Tuesday 9 July 2024

The small pleasures

afforded by the urge to pursue Truth
are crushed by depressing revelations

which can drive us insane
and from the bloody light
into the sweet hospitalities of night.


Aren't we truly wonderful ?

 We've managed to change the weather !

It wasn't stone circles that did it,
but Getting & Spending Inc.
(much easier, almost democratic).


Monday 8 July 2024

Criminal Tendencies Unfulfilled.

(On Watching a Thriller)

I always wanted to be able to pick locks,
though I've no idea which locks I'd want to pick.

I have a master-key for French mail-boxes
(as do thousands of others, probably)
but there's not one I would want to open
or even put a bomb in

(if I could make a bomb).


In flight

from (at least) two tyrannies.


 

Sunday 7 July 2024

How many of us, how often

"...experience this feeling of having watched from the sidelines
as someone disguised as themselves
spoke their way through a bad script." ?

– Donna Leon: Doctored Evidence, 2004

In my case, the awareness of having been a bit peculiar
doesn't arrive until five – or thirty-five – minutes later.


Election Week

in Britain, Mauretania, France...

Today. polling-day in the French Republic,
I saw crude placards
which declared ¡No Pasarán! 
and do not bode well for the result.

The very fabric of our democracies is false.
Those who are voted for (or not) stand
as our representatives, which they are not
and cannot be. 

There will be more elections shortly
in Rwanda, Georgia, Venezuela, Syria (!) 

In autumn: Jordan, Algeria, Tunisia, Moldova,
Romania, Mozambique, Chad, Lithuania... 


¡No Pasarán! (They will not get through!)
was the futile slogan of the Republicans
in the Spanish civil war, which resulted in
a very nasty dictatorship that lasted 35 years.

Another banner (in my home village) declared:
Non à la R-Haine ! - pronounced the same as R.N. (the neo-sub-fascist party of Marine le Pen);
haine = hate



Saturday 6 July 2024

'Democracy'

Faceless
they wear masks,
and their faces grow to fit them

and they vote
and are voted for in their millions

to make evil more powerful
and they are not devils

but faceless and heartless
and aspirational.


Not sculptures...

...but happy caimans in Brazil.

 


Not a mud-fight...












...but happy rice-planters in Nepal.

photos from The Guardian


Friday 5 July 2024

After Hafez and Akbar.

Fear is the most expensive
lodging in the hotel,
the paradise suite where dead
laboratory rats and vivisected dogs end up.

Love is the disused boiler room.

Corporeal friends are
spiritual enemies,
said
Blake, masturbating naked
on the roses while his wife
copied his manuscripts and wept.

The ocean's getting saltier, not from
half-melted human glaciers of human tears
but from the weeping dwarves of Ragnarök.

The Book of Things & Hope is planet-thick
and we get more insubstantial every day.
We all know God is Dead.
Nietzsche was rather slow to realise
that God had become just a Black Hole
in the infinitesimal human consciousness.

Jesus just a legend, Mohamed a
testosteronal war-lord.
God was rumoured to be Love
but Love never existed, either.
Now it's rumoured
by the ultra-intelligent and rich
that Black Holes are also dead...

I guess it's time to take a pill and go to bed.

Akbar


Thursday 4 July 2024

When I was small

I wanted to wear pirate's ear-rings
and grow a beard
like an ogre or some similar fiction
such as Captain Hook
or Blue-Black-Redbeard
(I have always identified with outsiders)
and when I was 20 my ambitions
were realised....and normality
but not reality I finally forsook.

The guy on the left is my Very Best Friend.



Tuesday 2 July 2024

Declaration by a Sort-of-Marxist.

The problem with Christianity

is that it has no philosophy

except for vague but limited do-goodism

tacked on to Judaic pseudo-history

and rejection of simple (sometimes Judaic) sexuality,

especially that of women.

These things it shares with Islam. 

I sort-of-believed the nonsense for almost a year

but have subsequently remained puzzled by,

fixated on why anyone believed, believes it.

I went on to study the finer forms of Buddhism...

but Marx won out, by his affirmation of fairness,

fair play, dislike of greed, acquisitiveness.

Now Marx has also been sent to the abattoir.

He's bloody dead.

We now have the world-wide 

religion-web of acquisition and envy instead.


Western Values.

 


Monday 1 July 2024

Progress reversed.

Once upon a time, in 1945,
a shy Prime Minister of Britain
and its frayed empire drove himself
around in a battered little Morris 10
– at least when it wasn't his wife who did the driving.











He oversaw the greatest social revolution
in Europe since the beheadings
of 17th and 18th century kings,

He initiated the dismantling of the empire
(in unfortunate circumstances) and installed
the world's most advanced welfare state
and the only health service to offer
free consultation and treatment to everyone.

Despite the capitalist and American grip
on Britain, it became the most truly-socialist
country in the world has ever known,
and was not a failed experiment
(at least not until tower-block machines-
for-being-isolated-in were built). Since then
the turbo-capitalist, plutocratic and American
monopolistic jaws
(Thatcher-Reaganomics devised by evil men)
have hollowed out its Welfare State, and the rich
are many more times richer than the struggling poor,
more people are homeless and ill-nourished,
than in 1945, back when
the visionary, shy socialist Prime Minister
drove himself about in his battered Morris 10.


The Political and Social Outlook

in Europe and the USA
is not encouraging.


Sunday 30 June 2024

Socialism

has been suppressed in the legendary Land of the Free

more successfully than it was in Nazi Germany

and more successfully than Christianity

was suppressed in the USSR.


House and Homeless.

House designed by Roger Walker, Aotearoa 1980.

 









Homeless in Mexico, 2024.


Polling Day in France.

Just as Hitler advanced through voters' collapse
of trust in politicians and their tired old parties,
so the early 1930s have come back to haunt us. 

The first Fascist-racist
regime in Europe after WW1 (lasting until 1944)
was that of "nationalist Christian" Hungary.


Saturday 29 June 2024

Simple Shoah Statistics

are rarely presented, because they implicate the inhabitants of the Nazis' victim countries.  Here are just a few.

                                            Contrary to what I thought,

Of the third of a million Jews in France at the start of the war. three-quarters survived, compared to just over half of Jews in Belgium  – and only a fifth in the Netherlands.

That striking statistic is due in significant part to the role of convents and other havens provided by the Catholic church, particularly in Vichy (semi-independent, very-fascist part of) France.

Over 90% of Jews survived in Denmark, due to various factors including the general acceptance of (small proportion of) Jews by Danes who helped them escape, mostly to neutral Sweden, easily reachable across the strait from Copenhagen. 
Denmark, which had no army to speak of, but was considered to be highly 'Aryan', managed to negotiate a lenient Occupation, and was self-governing until 1943, when the Nazis finally lost patience with Danish reluctance to collaborate, and debilitating resistance.

In Poland (the country with the highest Jewish population), a maximum of 0.3% of Jews (10,000) is estimated to have survived the war, many of whom, of course, fled to Israel...where some of their offspring enthusiastically persecuted Palestinians.

Good people are very few.



Friday 28 June 2024

Arms Manufacturers

making billions in Europe, Russia,
Israel, USA, China, India, etc.
cannot be accused of genocide.


Dedication to reproduction.

It took Monet four years
to capture the exact tones
of a foggy moment in London.

And on the Web, bad digital
reproduction loses them.

This photograph is far too blue.


Thursday 27 June 2024

A cathedral AND a library.

"Her father had taught her about...a dog's paws.
Whenever her father was alone with a dog in his house
he would lean over and smell the skin at the base of its paw. 
This, he would say, as if coming away from a brandy snifter,
is the greatest smell in the world!  A bouquet! Great rumours of travel. She would pretend disgust, but the dog's paw was a wonder,
the smell of it never suggested dirt. It's a cathedral! her father had said – so-and-so's garden, that field of grasses, a walk through cyclamen – a concentration of hints of all the paths the animal had taken during the day."

 – Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient, 1992


Not so Gallant,

and not (yet) on trial for war-crimes
(though his face would have gone
unremarked at Nuremberg)












Yoav Gallant
Israeli Minister of Defence
warns tottering Lebanon
(neighbour to the north) that
he could 'blow it back into the Stone Age'.

Didn't we hear the same phrase from George W Bush
before the invasion of Iraq ?


Wednesday 26 June 2024

Not Yet, Dear God, Not Yet.

 

[Nappy = Diaper, from French nappe
= tablecloth, hence napery.]


Almost everyone with the slightest

pretension to snobbery,
has a favourite hated neologism. 

Mine is already sixty years old,
and I still loathe the word: 

life-style/lifestyle

I have had (still have) a life,
not a fashion, not a presentation
nor an image, nor a style.


Tuesday 25 June 2024

Tricky Moral Question from a Dole-receiver.

Is it better to send small amounts of money
to help protect animals and habitats
or to buy organic 'fair-trade' coffee ?

Coffee alleviates depression.

Fair trade must exist, but where ?



Toyless in Gaza.


 

Monday 24 June 2024

Ourobolos.

Language is edited thought.
Thought is processed language.
Round and round we go
in the fairground talking-show.


Sunday 23 June 2024

The Fear of Solitaries.

 





No, social pressure puts it in our heads.

If we are alone or solitary
we are viewed as unusual
if not freaks.

On the other hand, the 'fragmented society'
greatly benefits deviators and those
who have the emotional strength
to heal-whole themselves
and choose solitude: those who don't need
'validation' from others.

Aristophanes' famous story in Plato's Symposium
that humans originally were whole hermaphrodites
bisected because of their arrogance
reinforces the idea that without our other half
we cannot be whole or, often, even acceptable.

This story acknowledges the usually-unmentioned
role of unavailable sex in the suffering of loneliness
and feeling of loss,
whereas solitude implies a voluntary state
and the possibility of something gained.

'The Lonely' are also 'highly vulnerable'
to conspiracy theories.


Dear Mr Netanyahu,

When People Who Count
in countries such as Britain, France, the USA
condemn your insane action in Gaza,
your criminal cleansing of the West Bank
of the ronce-holy river Jordan,

why don't you quietly remind them of the carpet-bombing
of Berlin, Hamburg, Dresden, Tokyo, Viet-Nam...
the mass-murder by the Japanese in Manchuria and Java,
the atom-bombs of Hiroshima and Nagasaki,
the barbaric 'police action' in Algeria...?

And then wise up.


Saturday 22 June 2024

Bananas!

There are more than 1,000 varieties of banana,
and we eat just two of them.



Friday 21 June 2024

Life.

There must be other
more successful forms
of development,
break-up or re-coalescence
of matter in the various
universes, especially if
Black Holes do not exist.


The Rentier Society.

One in every 21 adults in the UK is a landlord.

The UK’s homes-per-capita ratio actually exceeds that of the US   yet

Homelessness in the UK is at its highest level Victorian times.

Where are Karl and Friedrich when you need them ? 




Thursday 20 June 2024

Coffee-abuse.

It would seem
that almost all the coffee
that we drink
is shamelessly, ignorantly
disrespected.

(The only emperor
is the emperor of coffee-ice cream.)


True Progress.

"The most backward [people]
are the most friendly."

– Paul Theroux, My Secret History.


The Male Gaze.

 

Wednesday 19 June 2024

I am an Ineluctable Unrepentant Peasant-Prole

Almas caviar, white truffles,
yubari melon, or roast
ptarmigan ? No thanks. I'd rather

eat proper Scottish pinhead porridge
and home-made marmalade on toast.


Eat your heart out, Cleopatra !

Not only can we now, at the height
of civilsation shower
(assuming that we have a shower)
with Asses' Milk shampoo 'and shower gel
for body and hair,'




















but we latter-day Mark Antonies (and pooves)
can buy
special Asses' Milk Beard Shampoo.

Did M.A. have a beard ?
This stuff smells distinctly chemical.
Maybe I'll just use it on my little hooves.


Tuesday 18 June 2024

Interesting Cultural Appropriation.

The craque about craic
which means a good conversational time
often, in the case of men, with badinage.

The Irish commandeered
the Northern English and Scottish word crack

(which I remember being widely used
in my 1940s Belfast childhood,
prefixed by great or good)

as they did with jig (formerly gigg*) from gigue,
borrowed from French :

craque : tall tale, amusing fiction.

*gigg popped up again in the 19th century
in the term sheela-ny-gigg in which both Gs are hard.



Neologism of the Month :

Suicidality.

What can it mean ?

Suggestions, please.


Monday 17 June 2024

The Continuing World-wide Pogrom.

Post-mercantile, pre-industrial Capitalism
was founded on slavery, which was founded
on ships and navigation.

Then came the Industrial Revolution,
which really should be called the Industrial
Global Pogrom of craftsmen/women/children,

founded on colonial exploitation,
which was founded on improved navigation.

The rich became fewer and fewer,
richer and richer, so that
at the end there were less than a hundred
who owned and bickered over the drowned
and screaming, burnt-up world
before they barricaded themselves
and perished underground.


Gay Pride ?

 


The main reason
that I never had anything to do with it
even in the 1980s was because it was

inevitable that when queer people
became respectable and Americanised
they would move on to being soldiers and bullies.

PS Love has nothing to do with soldiers or sex.


Sunday 16 June 2024

Progress ?

The most technologically-advanced

cultures are now the most infantile.

Maybe they always were...


Which of these Bulgarian Babuggeri

is my real daddy ?
I hope he's not into buggery
(unless very gently for my swollen prostate) 
whose name derives...














I rather fancy this guy as my Favorite Uncle.


Friday 14 June 2024

Panamá City

 

A lean raccoon searches for food.
Guides from the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute
have reported that destruction of the raccoons’ natural habitats
is driving them to the capital city.

Wednesday 12 June 2024

Dear Billy,

Being plastic and flimsy,
Snow-globes make bad paperweights,
and peonies bloom now, in summer,
not in Spring...though maybe in the Deep South
of the USA they bloom in early May.

It puts all Heaven in a rage,
wrote William Blake, to see a linnet
(or a canary. or any living thing
including humans, I might add)) in a cage.
Not to mention zoos, circuses and abattoirs.

(This is my pernickety Aspergerish comment on the poem below.)

Today

If ever there were a spring day so perfect,
so uplifted by a warm intermittent breeze

that it made you want to throw
open all the windows in the house

and unlatch the door to the canary's cage,
indeed, rip the little door from its jamb,

a day when the cool brick paths
and the garden bursting with peonies

seemed so etched in sunlight
that you felt like taking

a hammer to the glass paperweight
on the living room end table,

releasing the inhabitants
from their snow-covered cottage

so they could walk out,
holding hands and squinting

into this larger dome of blue and white,
well, today is just that kind of day.

Political parties

make democracy 
impossible.

 

Monday 10 June 2024

A&E

Acquisitiveness
keeps high-profit
capitalism on the go.
Envy makes it grow.


Sunday 9 June 2024

Outlandish.

Somebody asked me
which film characters I identified with 
– and I couldn't think of any,
except, possibly, ridiculously,
Tarkovsky's Stalker.

Films and books are about Other People.

I just want to look at my aquarium, look at my sea horse, read my Murakami,
watch Bergman. I’ve been on a great Bergman run. I just saw “The Virgin Spring,” “Hour of the Wolf,” “Persona.” I also love Tarkovsky. I love “The Sacrifice.” I looked at “Stalker” again. I have all the time in the world in between movies to lose myself in these maestros’ films.
  – Nicolas Cage in a New York Times Magazine interview, March 2024.

I almost identified with him in the wonderful film Pig (2021).
I identified even more with the sow, seen only for half a minute.
The Virgin Spring was the first 'proper' (and 'foreign') film I ever saw, almost alone in Mayfair's splendid Curzon cinema on a wet afternoon
in 1959 or 1960.  It shaped my whole attitude to cinema
after a childhood of seeing only hyped American propaganda-trash
such as From Here to Eternity, The African Queen and High Noon.


Saturday 8 June 2024

Crass & crude 'Soft Power'

On the Karakorum Highway
in Gilgit-Baltistan
surrounded by Kashmir,
Afghanistan, Tajikistan
and Uighur Xinjiang in China,
Pepsi welcomes you.
– No way. No thanks.


Balanus balanus,

Sea-barnacle.

photo by A. Semenov


Friday 7 June 2024

Delicious similes.

"...then I saw Lillian with an expression on her face
like a stubbed-out cigarette."

"...I noticed that the journalist had got hold of Lillian
and was pouring his opinions over her
like a bucket of sand on to a chemical fire."

– Elizabeth Jane Howard: The Sea Change (1959)


Sitting on my balcony,

I briefly think that it's a good thing
I'm 'going deaf' –
for when I put in my hearing-aids
I'm almost deafened by the happy birds.
And when I take them out again
I need not endure my fellow-creatures' words.



Israevil.

 "Obviously, two more Negev Bedouin pro-Hamas Terrorists
are hiding inside that horse."



Wednesday 5 June 2024

Good-memory Birds.

In the Western USA,
Acorn Woodpeckers peck dozens, hundreds,
or even thousands of acorn-sized holes
into large trees, utility poles, and sometimes houses.

At acorn-time they stash
a single fresh acorn into each one.


Tuesday 4 June 2024

Similarities and Differences.

There has been in sympathetic circles
much mention of empathy
and little of sympathy.
Empathy goes within.
Sympathy is with. The difference
is miasmic. I guess I feel empathy
only with dogs and cattle,
and sympathy mainly with plants
and horribly-afflicted humans.
Either I am a sociopath, or other people
are self-congratulating fantasists.
(Both might, of course, be true.)

Sycosis is an inflammation of beard follicles
which, along with my permanent
beard-dandruff and minor
but more-permanent psychoses,
I have had from time to time,
once even on Corfu.


Thank God !

No-one, not even in bleak Northern Ireland,
wants to Fuck the Pope.