Dingo the Dissident

THE BLOG OF DISQUIET : Qweir Notions, an uncommonplace-book from the Armpit of Diogenes, binge-thinker jottings since 2008 .

Saturday 5 September 2015

My mother tried

a bottle of gin, 'falling' down the stairs
(and maybe worse)
and finally, suicide
by swimming out to sea,
when she found that she was pregnant with me -
her life's trial, her life's curse.
She was a strong swimmer.
She then failed to have me adopted,
which brought her many years of woe,
because her left-handed, probably-cissy little boy
needed toughening up, her doctor-brother said,
her GP and various other pea-brains said.  Her own mother
hated left-handedness.  So I was corrected, then
sent at considerable financial cost
to an athletic school with incompetent teachers,
became a problem child
and teenager who stayed at home and read
Zola, Kafka and Dostoyevsky,
then a drop-out adult, an unemployable
lover of stones.
I shall honour my put-upon but valiant mother by succeeding
only in a quiet suicide -
the only noble death
- and (of course) no mourners at my graveside.

6 comments:

Bearz said...

Since you seem sure you will have a grave, and a graveside, and there will be people who will arrange it, and they will probably be there to see your remains off, then what would you like them to call themselves?

Jindra K. Hrdlička said...

Yes, what would you like us to be called ?

Dína & Jindřich

Wofl said...

How about "Interested passers-by" ? Or "People who just happen to be close to a grave" ?

Anonymous said...

Hello. I am from Paraguay. I really admire you. You are ready to go to the other world is there is one. I would like to have been beside you. May you have peace. Greetings.Raul

Marcus Billson said...

Bien sûr, tu as écrit une histoire triste, mais admirable de ta vie. Mais qu'est-ce que se a passé? Tu est une étincelle de brillance, de poésie, de sagesse. Pensées de mort? Bien naturelles. Mais ton courage, ta joie de vivre, tes opportunités de t'enjouir la durée d'un moment et la possibilité de la décrire? Yeah, you've written a sad story, but also an admirable one. Look at what happened? You are a spark of brillance, of poetry, of wisdom. Thoughts of death? Given what you've been going through--very natural. But your courage, your joys, and your opportunities to live the fullness of a moment and recreate your thoughts?

Wofl said...

Thank you Raul. You are very sweet and kind.