Back in the 1980s when I first encountered kumquats
in a posh shop in Holywood, county Down,
I grew a handsome and prolific bush from seed.
Now, small kumquat bushes are for sale in supermarkets.
They are too expensive for the lumpenbourgeoisie,
so they sit there, in the dark, unwatered,
and drop their kumquats...which I collect, take home
and eat with a square or two of chilled 8o%-cocoa chocolate,
(which sits in my refrigerator for months and years),
and almost faint with pleasure...rise to heaven,
as befits an ageing Ulster Prod*.
Add a dollop of pistachio ice-cream
and you are happier than God.
*a non-Catholic in or from Northern Ireland,
the last British Colony of more than 100,000 hectares.
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