I am interested in almost everything
(apart from sport and gossip)
Most other people seem interested in almost nothing
(apart from gossip, and – in men's case – sport)
And so, living alone, most of my conversations*
are in my head, you see,
in e-mails and with books I'm reading,
and with radio 4 on the BBC...
...and, instead of being snooty about your smartphone
I should be very grateful for the freedom
and the intelligence to live without one.
I'd really rather have an onion-peeler.
*Language for Noam Chomsky is a computational module restricted entirely to the individual, and devoid of communicative, cultural or social aspects.
If it has any remaining purpose or function, it exists merely for talking to oneself.