On Book-signing :

'At my first Salem’s Lot signing, I had one customer –
a fat kid who said,
Hey bud, do you know where there’s some Nazi books?’

– Stephen King, who had not arrived with a translation of Mein Kampf, just in case.

'I did a signing to which nobody came, except a guy who wanted to buy some Scotch tape and thought I was the help.'

– Margaret Atwood, who now knows that one should never be without some handy scotch-tape - and that one should dress up for signings.