Dingo the Dissident

THE BLOG OF DISQUIET : Qweir Notions in the Armpit of Diogenes by DINGO the DISSIDENT binge-thinker since February 2008.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

An Exquisite Recipe

for a home-made and delicate upper-class torture
suitable for visiting upon the Great and the Good
(i.e. the mean-minded, corrupt and evil)
such as Tony Blair, Dick Cheney, et. al.
(Allow 12+ hours for first batch)

1. Make a large batch of traditional French croissants.
2. Put in the freezer instead of leaving them to rise.
3. Bring in the mass-murderers.
4. Strip them, handcuff them, and shackle them to the floor.
4. Stick three frozen croissants one by one in each one's anus.
5. Leave the croissants to expand inside them for 6 hours.
6. Remove the croissants (with red-hot tongs).
7. Wearing gardening-gloves put in oven, bake as normal (takes 10 minutes).
8. Make them eat each other's Colonic Croissants (this is the only food they will eat for a month).
9. Repeat the process over 30 days.
10. Execute them by garrotting on a public holiday (e.g. World Peace Day, U.N. Human Rights Day, Anglo-American War Crimes Day).
in a very public place in Baghdad, Washington, London or Moscow.  Allow for crowds of one million.

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