"This letter is to inform you of God's behaviour in class. To be honest, God makes normal school life impossible, as He/She/It is with us all of the time, everywhere. Not even the staff break-room, or the study, is sacred. At this very moment He/She/It has the audacity to be in every fibre of my body and, whilst it is not yet a criminal offence for someone so young/old, I think it shows tendencies better dealt with by more qualified authorities. I am therefore suggesting that you send your Son/Daughter/Thing to one of the many excellent state-run homes for such unfortunate children/young/old people.
"I am sure that you appreciate that I have his/her/its bests interests at heart, and am forwarding his/her/its name accordingly. I hesitate to mention this at such a time, but we are still praying for a new pavilion.
Yours,
JH Smallwood, Headmaster."
from Calcium Made Interesting by Graham Chapman.
No comments:
Post a Comment