Dingo the Dissident

THE BLOG OF DISQUIET : Qweir Notions in the Armpit of Diogenes by DINGO the DISSIDENT binge-thinker since February 2008.

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

The Joys of Country Living.

Come, let us praise
  the absence of central heating and television,
  of microwave and washing-machine and mobile phone.
Let us rejoice
  in an open fire and a deliciously cold bedroom.
Let us glorify
  the kettle upon the fire and the absence of running hot water,
  the pleasure of washing clothes by hand in the water boiled on the fire
  (but only after a long time on my body).
Let us delight
  in making jam in a rather cold kitchen.
Let us mourn
  the death of the beautiful big brown rat in the trap.
Let us praise
  stripey long-johns
  and electric blankets
  and electric footwarmers
  which use so little electricity.
And, O beloved, let us rejoice that we do not live in a city.

9 comments:

Jindra K. Hrdlička said...

I enjoyed reading your prayer this morning, Antoníne.
With a very few exceptions this was my style of living when I was growing up.
The only difference is the location.
Mine was somewhere in the middle of Prague.

Karl said...

As a London dweller, this poem rends my soul. Oh to have been banished East of Eden....

Wofl said...

Yes, Jindra, you take up my point. Cities make people (are intended to make people) feel deprived and miserable.
To be "poor" (which I DON'T feel) in the country, is not just tolerable, but joyous.

Karl, I have to confess that I have an electric bread-maker, which makes far better bread than I could buy in Ireland - and better than most bread in France.

Anonymous said...

I feel for the rat, whose death was no doubt agonizing, and likely prolonged. I can't be convinced that that's quaint. But the rest of the poem (prayer?) was quite delightful.

Srikant said...

<3 <3, completely agree with Karl regarding the joys of living in the French or Irish countryside.

Though I don't know if it remains that way east of Iran. I guess it's not so much rural/urban, more of how thickly populated a place is.

Btw electric blankets and footwarmers? Does it really get that cold even West of Germany?

Wofl said...

I know, she was a lovely rat. But last year I was overrun with rats which pissed and shat in my bed, ate all my oil-paints and spat out the aluminium tubes in tiny pieces all over the place, and ate through various architectural elements, e.g. door-posts.

I have tried the electronic gadgets, which of course don't work.

The answer would be a cat - but the purchase of cat-food (rabbit, tuna etc.) would be much more heinous than the killing of a single rat in a cage-trap. Apart from the fact that half of the year I am in France.

Wofl said...

Dear Srikant - there are huge areas of India (especially those known as Tribal Areas) far less populated than Northern Ireland. Where I live in NI has twice the density of population of where I live in France.
Bed- and foot-warmers are essential "west of Germany" - especially for the 10% of the population with Raynaud's Syndrome (cold extremities due to poor circulation). In Northern Ireland, I use the electric under-blanket at least 11 months a year! Think of the lower Himalaya, or the cloud forests of Vietnam...

It is extremely rare for temperatures in coastal Ireland to go above 19 Celsius, or below -2. Where I live in France goes as low as -12, and at least as high as +30 (which is when I flee to Ireland because I cannot stand the heat).

Bearz said...

If Anonymous had ever had to kill a rat, then (s)he might know that it can be done quickly, they have very small lungs and drowned quickly in water buts (another rural delight). The saddest sight is seeing the long fur that was once fluffy and handsome become wet and lank (small sob, yes really), the good news is that rats will outlive us on the planet, and they don't need a census to prove it.

Bearz said...

If Anonymous had ever had to kill a rat, then (s)he might know that it can be done quickly, they have very small lungs and drowned quickly in water buts (another rural delight). The saddest sight is seeing the long fur that was once fluffy and handsome become wet and lank (small sob, yes really), the good news is that rats will outlive us on the planet, and they don't need a census to prove it.