and saw the Eurovision Noise and Lights Contest.
It is not unreasonable to judge a culture by its
Lowest Common Denominator - and I guess
this event might well swell the numbers of
Wahhabi converts year on year.
The Moldovan clothes horse was burned as a witch.
The Swedish youth would have been even sexier
if he had just stood there and smiled.
The Spanish entry featured the Galician bagpipes
in an act which seemed extremely tasteful
after Finland's demonstration of pubescent vulgarity.
Seasick Steve did not represent Norway, alas!
But Malta had lovely trousers and sang ever so sweetly,
having transported a park bench all the way to Malmö.
Armenia sang about a Lonely Planet he didn't seem to be on.
Romania (with the highest incidence of anti-homosexual
hate-crime in the EU) featured Count Dragula as
the undead Freddy Mercury singing in wonderful falsetto -
in contrast to the Vaguely-United Kingdom's bonnie
popsie who sang baritone.
Hungary (for the second time) shyly presented
the only genuine song. Greece - most surprisingly -
gave us an entertaining piece of self-parody,
while Iceland's entry was tasteful
and verged on the sincere...
I went to bed depressed, with frazzled brain -
but maybe I won't join the Wahhabis this year.
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