in the arsehole of diogenes

NEO-HERACLITUS_____________Qweir Notions in the arsehole of Diogenes: weBlog of a septuagenarian Binge-thinker since February 2008.

Monday, 19 March 2018

Who, or why, or which, or what, is the Akond of SWAT ?

asked Edward Lear (here).
Well, delightful old man,
it is a remote and rocky part of Pakistan,
home to many Taliban,
who are not and never will be the acme of calm.

The Wāli of Swat (Urdu: والی سوات) was the official title of the leader (wāli) of the erstwhile princely state of Swat and also the nomenclature of the dynasty that ruled there from 1926 to 1969. The earlier titles of rulers in this area were 'Akhund', 'Khan', etc.

Sunday, 18 March 2018

'The banality of Evil'

is the banality of civilisation
which renews itself
through slaughter.

Saturday, 17 March 2018

The terrible problem

for us all, well-fed or starving,
is that there is no frontier
between good and evil.
One bleeds into the other
like dyes in a washed rug.

Friday, 16 March 2018

The 'true outsider',

a little wild,
not a little bewildered,
is only the only conscience
(beyond, beyond, beyond all consolation)
in the wilderness of the Group.
But are there any true Outsiders
of conscience ?

Thursday, 15 March 2018

In my little paradise

there is, of course,
close by,
a territorial army camp
with bomb-practice range.
And, in the 14th century cellar,
quite a lot of damp.

Wednesday, 14 March 2018

The algorithms are correct.

We are nothing more than consumers
(of caviar, clothing, aggression, injustice,
parenthood, bureaucracy, bombs, our own dissatisfaction...).
Self-worth, purpose, dignity, integrity
(and so on) are merely fantasy.

Tuesday, 13 March 2018

A Bad Poem.

Sexual urges
make idiots
of us all -
and, in the case of millions of men,
sociopathic scourges.

Monday, 12 March 2018

Sunday, 11 March 2018

Very Worrying

for my generation :
Waiting for Godot
is now on syllabuses
(and presumably much-loathed)
for teenage education.

Saturday, 10 March 2018

The World

is a multi-dimensional
Theatre of the Absurd

and, excluding humans,
the wonderfully absurd.

Friday, 9 March 2018

Crocus and Rescued Butterfly : still-life.

I found this butterfly today
sitting on the green roller-towel in the kitchen,
and carefully transported it (in a wineglass) to the balcony.
After about five minutes it flew away.
There were a few little spots on the upperside of its wings.


is infinitely small
infinitely large.

Thursday, 8 March 2018

Evil, like Love

is (you might think)
a fuzzy fantasy-word
whose vagueness can
be invoked and applied
to anything we wish
to denounce and decry.
I disagree.
It is specific, indentifiable
and even quantifiable,
the holy cornerstone
of civilisation :
uncontrolled, banal and terrible
human testosterone.

Wednesday, 7 March 2018

from The Times of London.

"Ireland : North and South move to map out border crossings for Brexit.

"Dublin and Belfast are working together to list and publish for the first time
the hundreds of border crossings between the island's two jurisdictions"
- of which there are more than the total number of land-border crossings into the European Union from the East, South-east and North-north-west.
Some of them are no more than muddy lanes.

We civilised beings

imagine we're ermine,
not vermin.
But ermine are vermin.

Tuesday, 6 March 2018

We magic beings

can turn anything into religion -
food, fame, the work-ethic,
making money, civil rights,
hygiene, education, vegetarianism...

I guess I have made idleness
my religion - or, as many would view it,
work-shy anti-religion.

Monday, 5 March 2018

Rather than leaving the past behind,

our bizarre civilisation*
is charging backwards into
a hypothetical, hypocritical future.

[* all civilisations are bizarre, of course]

Sunday, 4 March 2018

I am happy. I am happy to report that

Spring has arrived here in SW France.
Almond and wild plum-trees are in bloom;
violets, scillas, celandines & lungwort underneath them.

Brer Rabbit etc.

The Uncle Remus, Little Black Sambo and Epaminondas stories
entranced me when I was little (in 1940s Northern Ireland)
and made me (ever since) want (futilely) to have a sweet black skin.

I have just read that many Americans consider the stories
(told by Uncle Remus to a little 'white' boy)
about Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox and others to be Racist.
But it is obvious to any child that Brer Rabbit is a trickster figure
(one amongst many in all continents) and, to an older person,
that the Uncle Remus stories were subtly seditious - and should not
have been removed from Public Library shelves
by totalitarian 'Liberals' - despite such advertisements as this:

Saturday, 3 March 2018

In Days of Yore -

and until quite recently - excess
in human behaviour was highly noticeable.
But now excessive and conspicuous consumption
is practised invisibly even by the relatively poor
in certain countries, who live lives of comfort
unimaginable to Roman emperors.

Friday, 2 March 2018

No human desire

can be deemed unnatural,
since we, a late and mere part of Nature,
are the descendants of millions of freaks.

Thursday, 1 March 2018

The Odour Deficit.

Europe's towns and cities have little that is olfactory left.

When I was young I passed through smells
from East Belfast to city centre:
undertones of filthy Connswater close to
the bread-and-biscuit-factory;
then ropeworks, abattoir and docks
where pissing calves were shipped to Scotland;
finally an odour-symphony
emanating in heady, rich, delicious waves
from Murray's tobacco-factory,
where Erinmore, smoked in thoughtful pipes across the world,
was carefully composed.

Now the only smells are poor and localised:
air-fresheners, deodorants and after-shaves.

Wednesday, 28 February 2018

"There's no such thing as a free lunch..."

- especially when you're homeless and starving.

"Humanitarian workers in Syria have been demanding sex in return for aid,
according to a UN report into the sexual violence and exploitation
faced by women during the seven-year war." - The Times, London, today.

When, in freezing weather, back in the 1980s, I brought home
to my borrowed accommodation in Paris
a beautiful young street-sleeper, and cooked him a meal,
he could hardly believe his good fortune
that I did not want to 'have sex with' him.

I was an early enthusiast

for U.B.I. (Universal Basic Income),
and, like carping, snobbish Juvenal, have led
a  frugal yet rich life of active and cultivated
but, unlike poor Juvenal,
supported by a weekly Dole administered
by a generous, though disliked nation-state.

PS My companion suggests
a Universal Canine Benefit
for the very good reason that dogs are beautiful
and should have a daily allowance of minced kitten.

Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Saturday, 24 February 2018

Erotic pleasure is like icing - or marzipan - on a cake.

When it has gone, there might be nothing else -
or there might be a whole, substantial cake -
and if it contains figs, so much the better.

Friday, 23 February 2018

Queen Victoria to her eldest daughter, the Princess Royal :

"I think people marry far too much;
it is such a lottery, after all,
and to a poor woman
a very doubtful happiness."

Thursday, 22 February 2018

Middle Eastern Harmony, Inc. launches its Exciting New Product.

The Electric Penis-brush.
Specially designed to clean and punish
those unclean and heavenless
males weighed down by foreskins. › Gifts & Crafts › brush offers 231 penis brush products. About 28% of these are teeth whitening, 12% are silicone rubber, and 9% are sex products. A wide variety of penis brush options are available to you, such as party decoration, party favor.

Wednesday, 21 February 2018

The Swimming Sea-snail.

Limacina antarctica 
                           photographed by the great Alexander Semenov.

On the same website I subsequently found this sea-slug:

                                             Cyerce nigricans.

Tuesday, 20 February 2018

When I feed my dog,

he sits before me and the food,
and I bow - in reverence to him
and to the food.  And then he eats.
This is my only religious ritual.
It is enough.

Monday, 19 February 2018

I accidentally deleted today's blog.

But I'm sure this is better:

by Eric Chaet

What if you were to say to me, “You’re great!”

In my younger days, I yearned
to be told, “You’re great!”

But, now, who are you?
How do you know more than I, or even as well as I
if I’m great or not great?

And what does it mean, to be great?

It’s true, Beethoven was great at writing symphonies.
No one ever wrote such great symphonies before or since—
or, if they did, word of it hasn’t reached me.
It’s quite possible.
What’s truly great may not seem so to those who witness it.
They may not notice, they may not comprehend,
or they may nervously laugh it off, or denigrate it—
so as not to feel less than someone else.

Even so, an earthworm is at least as great
as any of Beethoven’s symphonies.
Certainly, the planet Uranus, is as great.
A pear is as great, or a dandelion, or duck.
So, then, what is great?

And as great as Beethoven’s symphonies are
(I listen to them again & again)
or an earthworm, Uranus, a pear, or a duck—
still, most people suffer
& most people put on poses
because they can’t bear who they are.

I know that, some rare times, what I have done
I have done in the greatest way possible—
but how great is the deed?—
when most people suffer
& most people put on poses
because they can’t bear who they are.

Sunday, 18 February 2018

After reading some lines by Ikkyū.

一休宗純  Ikkyū Sōjun, 1394–1481 BCE

Call me Kublai.

A single breath of cannabis:
tingling nipples and a surging willy -
a root and minor route of happiness,
a mystic minaret, a pepper-pot of pleasure
that I can quite soulfully
caress - not bully - in long sweet
and brimfully
with no hint of ineptitude.

Saturday, 17 February 2018

Unable to read Moby Dick

- and thus ignorant of the First Mate's Quaker, shipowner-name of Starbuck -
I have never felt
quite cruel enough
to be properly

How many do ?

Friday, 16 February 2018

An 'Old Soul'

is more naïve than more recent models.

I have never understood the modern idea of 'Employment' -
- but now I realise that it is primarily ritual.

I have never subscribed to that particular and brief religion.

We all return to the asylums of our future.

Thursday, 15 February 2018

My Zen Master,

Diogenes Rumi Krishnamurti,
There is food for thought everywhere
for stray-dog intellectuals.

Maybe the Secret of Happiness
is to keep one eyebrow cheerfully lifted
while keeping well-fed...

Wednesday, 14 February 2018

Bad Taste.

Now that aid-workers have had The Finger of Shame
pointed at them retrospectively
(especially in Haiti, but also in Congo,
Bosnia and - we'll probably learn - in Lebanon and Bangladesh),
it may soon be time to mention the skunk-fisters of North America.

Tuesday, 13 February 2018

To have a little war, any excuse will do.

from Quora.

The ongoing “Whisky War” between Canada and Denmark 
involves both a territorial dispute and a sense of humour.

Hans Island (Hansø) is a barren Arctic rock in the Kennedy Channel.

Every few months the Canadian military will land on it,
find a Danish flag and several bottles of schnapps.
The soldiers will remove the Dannebrog and hoist the Maple Leaf,
then take the schnapps (snaps),
replace it with a crate of Canadian whisky (yuk), and leave.
Mission tastefully accomplished.

Monday, 12 February 2018



Sunday, 11 February 2018


or grumpy old men
may simply be those from whose eyes
the scales have progressively fallen,
are progressively falling -
and they are simply no longer prepared
to pander to other people's hypocrisies.

Saturday, 10 February 2018

Since no language is logical,

and some are fanatically complex,
it is likely that we are not logical beings.
Our ever-vaunted intelligence
may only be refined anxiety
over death's logical intransigence.

Friday, 9 February 2018

Yet another unscientific thought.

Maybe Early Homo Sapiens
'dealt with' Neanderthals
as Chimpanzees treat Bonobos -
raping all the women
and eating at least the brains
of the strongest males.

We particularly dislike
those animals who mirror us:
magpies, alligators, foxes, wolverines
and killer whales.

Thursday, 8 February 2018

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Tuesday, 6 February 2018

No Other Creature Is Inconvenienced.

The moderately-ascetic hermit
will sometimes go to bed
not long after eight p.m.
to sniff last week's underpants
and joyfully ejaculate.

Monday, 5 February 2018

On receiving a new credit card.

It still  'Requires a Signature'...
...which can be anything,
so long as the card-presenter can repeat (or copy) it.
But of course nobody looks at mere signatures anymore.

Instead of my name, I write my PIN in two ways, in Danish
(Tretten treogfyrre and Een-tre-fire-tre)

which only a Nordic could translate.
I could do the same in Finnish

I can count up to 20 in Finnish – but not in Irish. 

“Go figure !” as they say
in the USA.

My head is full of the strangest things -
such as the year of the Murder of the Estonian Kings.