in the arsehole of diogenes

NEO-HERACLITUS_____________Qweir Notions in the arsehole of Diogenes: weBlog of a septuagenarian Binge-thinker since February 2008.
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Sunday, 22 July 2012

Minced beaver-testicles

(which are internal)
were often added to tobacco
(which King James
declared to be infernal)
because of their allegedly
analgesic properties -
and to sweeten it.
The fur was made into coats & headgear.
As for the rest of the poor beaver,
who or what would have eaten it ?

Answer: Everyone.
Because the infallible Catholic church
declared the rodent to be a fish
it was eaten on Fridays and fast-days,
especially in Québec.

 

Oscar Wilde in a beaver-fur coat.
Hard Labour in Reading Gaol was too lenient for such a heartless, upper-class æsthete -
but, alas! he was condemned for the wrong crime.

2 comments:

Jindra said...

Actually, one of the slang words for French Canadians is beaver beater.
Could be also, beaver eater, but that can apply to many other men and women :)

auban said...

Yes 'beaver' is a (now disappearing) synonym for 'pussy', 'snatch', 'dirt-box' and many other such charming expressions.

Beaver-balls were also considered contraceptive, as well as analgesic. They might well have been slightly analgesic, since beavers eat a lot of willow-bark, containing salicylic acid. But why contraceptive ?