A Summary of Yesterday's Television News

 (adapted from a blog by Jindra)

The world is full of danger
 No one is properly dressed
At least one of your children will disappoint you
 The system is rigged
Your medication can kill you with side effects
and is lining the pockets of the pharmaceutical conglomerates
 Your house will never be completely clean
Almost all teachers are incompetent
 Your friends are not real
The environment is being destroyed
 Nobody is safe
Nothing is as good as it seems
 Things don't last
The world is in a terrible mess
 The United Nations is a sick joke
Every country is run by corrupt cretins
 Only fools care
Nobody is capable of paying attention